The Starving Artist and the Chimp (Part V)

Libretto for an Opera

Act V

Francais and the Chimp are on stage. The chimp is at a desk and he has a laptop. There is another desk with a computer near him. On a bookcase shelf is a CD player, a fruit bowl with bananas and grapes, a jar of nuts, a bottle of soda, a telephone.

Francais

Later that night
I returned home
What did I find?

A chimp was there
What a strange sight
I was surprised

And like the chimp
In the story
Of the beach house

This one could write
And he had his
Own computer

I asked: “Who are You?”
He said: “Henry”
I said OK.

He pointed to my desk
He pointed to his keyboard
He challenged me to write

Write better than a chimp?
Well, I hope I can
I guess we’ll soon find out

Francais and the chimp hold their hands above their keyboards.

The Chimp:

One two three GO!

They both start typing

Francais

The name of my story is:

Changing Channels on the Multi Verse.

And it goes like this:

My brand new Panchronotic Multi-Versal TV
Was delivered to my home today
Complete with its remote control joystick
Now I will know what I might have been
Now I will see what I could have been

A screen displays nine squares; images in the squares appear and disappear as Francais describes them.

On the first channel I am a man in a lab
I am wearing a white lab coat
I can see that is the path I did not take
I can see that this is the one my parents wanted

And now I can see that ‘me’ on the TV
How many animals did that ‘me’ kill
All in the name of science?

The next channel shows ‘me’
Watching the new TV, wearing my clothes
Not these, different clothes
It’s a different day on that channel

On the next channel, too
I’m watching TV
On the next channel too!
So my first lesson is:
I watch too much TV

On the next channel
Whew – I’m reading a book.
The next channel, too!
And so on and so on
Same book, different clothes
Same book, different days

I type a random number
And on a new channel
I’m back in the lab
The next one, too
The next channel, too
The next one, too

But then: Ah! What’s this?
I’m on the deck of a ship
In a blue wetsuit
With diving gear!

I use the joystick
To pull the view back
And away from the boat
In the water: more divers!
One is climbing back
Onto the ship

I zoom in for a closeup
Of the diver on the ladder
Then I shift the joystick
For a wide view of our ship

I see ‘me’ and the divers
Take off our gear
We rinse it, then rack it

I don’t really want
To watch myself shower
So I bookmark the channel

The next channel shows
New views of me on the ship
The next one, too
The next channel, too
And the next channel, too

But on the next channel
I’m underwater
I watch for a while
And start to wonder
If I’m really having
As much fun as it
Looks like I’m having

The Chimp jumps up and points to his computer.

The Chimp

Look what I have written!
You owe me a banan’!
I’m sure that it is better
Than what you did, man!

Francais takes a banana from the fruit bowl in the bookcase, hands it to the chimp

Francais

OK, let’s have a look
Are you the chimp
Who can write a book

… Wait! What is this?


A screen displays the chimp’s text; each word appears as he reads it.

The Chimp

upsetting oscillAte quine scrawL
ast hornbLende aYe wedge
clOUdburst NosE morphing dEarth
nurture Dummy warble taketh

yank cItation Salsa per diem
buzzsaw orkney raveL wedge
wander scramsax hintered fasten
restOre knee ostrich VEry

Francais

What? That makes no sense
And no I’m not dense
Give me back that banan’
You get only half, man!

Francais takes back the banana splits it half, eats half, gives the other half to the chimp. The chimp takes half the banana, eats it and raises his middle finger.

Wouldn’t you know it?
Give a chimp a keyboard
And he thinks he’s a poet

Francais looks at the text again

But wait, now that I read
The letters that he’s upper cased
But wait, now that I see
What these letters spell
The stories all make sense now

The letters that he’s uppercased
The stories were all saying
The same thing, the same thing
The stories were all the same

The lowercased letters on the screen disappear, leaving the letters:

A L L Y O U N E E D I S L O VE

The orchestra plays the opening line of ‘La Marsellaise’

The Chimp

ALL!

Francais

ALL!

The Chimp

YOU!

Francaise

YOU!

The Chimp

NEED!

Francais

NEED!

The Chimp

IS!

Francais

IS!

/The Chimp
|
|LUHHHHVE!
|
|Francais
|
\ ... LUHHHHVE!

Francais and the Chimp dance

I put on my Beatles CDs
And we sang and danced all night
I broke out the soda and the grapes
And everything was alright

Francais and the Chimp dance around the stage, passing the bottle of soda and a bunch of grapes back and forth. The chimp picks up the telephone and dials a number and chants into the telephone:

The Chimp

Go! To! The! Window!

The Chimp hangs up and they laugh.

Francais and the Chimp:

Go to the window, the kitchen window!

The cast enters stage left, snapping fingers, joining the chant, assembling center stage.

All:

Go to the window, the kitchen window!
(repeat seven times)

Francais:

Are we not all

All

The starving artist

Sheisty

The starving artist

All

And the chimpanzee

IAA

Who fears fulfillment

All:

Both of them slaves to humanity

Talker:

In the light of day

All:

All of them slaves to humanity

Tapas

And are we not all

All

All of us slaves to humanity

The Chimp

The chimpanzee, too

All

The chimpanzee

Ghost

In the dark of the night

All

And the starving artist

IAA

With our physical needs

All

Both of them slaves to humanity

Francais

Our anger, our fear

All

All of us slaves to humanity

Sheisty

And our love

All

In our love, we’re slaves to our humanity

/Men:
|The starving artist
|
|Women
\The starving artist and the chimpanzee

/Men:
|They are both
|
|Women:
\They are both slaves to humanity


/Men
|But we are all
|
|Women
\But we are all slaves to humanity

/Men
|Like the starving artist …
|
|Women
\… Like the starving artist and the chimpanzee …

Men
… And the chimpanzee

FIN